Ki ki ki, ma ma ma

A few years ago I went through a horror phase. Most kids will watch scary movies during sleepovers and get freaked out. I watched two or three horror movies every single weekend for six months.

Slasher films, monster movies, ghost stories, movies with killers, psychological thrillers, “found-footage” films, slow-classic zombies, fast-new age zombies, infected “zombies,” movies directed by Rob Zombie.

I haven’t killed any small animals in my neighborhood, but I’ve probably been desensitized to some violence. When parents tell their kids that they should only watch violent things sparingly or it’ll actually affect them mentally, they’re right.

Many of the films I watched were B movies which, well, sucked. Not many people understand why anyone would waste their time watching stuff like this. I don’t really know other than it’s escapism—which is the purpose of most movies. I’ve watched a decent amount of C-SPAN too, but I can’t fully tell you why.

Maybe I’ll come back to that in another blog, but this one is about my favorite character that arose above all the others in these countless late nights alone on the couch.

Jason.

Yeah, the guy with the hockey mask.

I like Jason Voorhees because he’s not just some random boogie man who goes around killing whoever he sees. He was born mentally handicapped and with physical deformities. He never really went to school, didn’t have any friends, but his mom took him to Camp Crystal Lake where she worked one summer.

The other kids at Camp teased him and he fell into the lake one night and drowned. The whole scene never would’ve taken place, however, if the counselors had been watching the campers like they were supposed to rather than being in the barn boinking each other.

Jason obviously returns throughout the numerous movies to wreak havoc—but only on a certain few. There are exceptions, but if you are participating in illegal activities like underage smoking or drinking, or having pre-marital sex, you significantly increase your chances of taking a machete to the face.

Then again anyone who has seen a slasher film knows that the key ingredients are underage smoking or drinking and teenagers having sex.

Jason is similar to Stephen King’s Carrie in that he’s taking revenge rather than being mindless like a zombie or Freddy Kruger who wasn’t really a victim.

Happy Friday the 13th too all and remember that if you’re good Jason won’t play mean.

Last but not least, while it ranks fourth on this countdown, the frozen face from Jason X is my favorite kill.

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