Quote From the Finnish Hockey Team’s Pre-Game Press Conference, In a More Exciting World

We’ve been cycling the puck well, we just have to get more traffic in front of the net. Furthermore, we must fight the international Communist conspiracy with all of our precious bodily fluids.

– Captain Johnannes Ripper

Captain during the second period.
Captain Gen. Johnannes Ripper during the second period of today’s game against Russia.